thinglets: 20 Questions You Shouldn't Have To Answer While Waiting For A Movie To Start

  1. What is Golden Topping made of anyway?
  2. Which one of the Baldwin brothers is in this film?
  3. Do you think they'll show the Sandra Bullock trailer?
  4. What would make my feet stick to carpet?
  5. Did your Grande Burrito have beans in it?
  6. You mean there was an original Planet of the Apes?
  7. When does that new Rob Schneider film come out?
  8. Did you remember to record A Very Special Glee Christmas?
  9. Did I give you my wallet?
  10. Would you mind rubbing my leg if it cramps up?
  11. So there are HOW many of these Twilight thingies left?
  12. Is this the Harry Potter one where they get naked?
  13. Do you want some of the Jell-O I snuck in?
  14. How much would you give me if I yelled "Don't Tase Me Bro!" right now?
  15. Is that your iPhone vibrating in your pocket?
  16. So how about that Paula Abdul huh?
  17. How much does an adult diaper hold?
  18. Isn't this the film Keanu Reeves turned down?
  19. So you remember what to do if my head tilts back and I start drooling?
  20. Isn't that your wife and brother over there?

thinglets: Snack Foods Personified at the Drive-In

Remember the humanizing of food in the Drive In intermission spots? They often say the "toyifying" of animals in mass media has turned young children into unaware pieces of bait as they cease to be fearless of their favorite "Teddy Bears". On a barely related tertiary topic, did anyone every NOT want to eat the food after seeing it personified on the big screen?

You'd get to see Greedy Mr. Popcorn Bag withhold every kernel from the small Hot Butter Cup and then steal all the butter for himself. Watch the militaristic Ice Cream Cups follow blindly behind Major-General Ice Cream Bar. The Red and Blue Soda Cups stuck in lock step for fear of their Ringmaster's wrath.

All I know is that I could not help but enthusiastically blast the car horn when the excited wiener finally dove into the open, inviting hot dog bun. Hey, when you were a kid, you'd take a sexual analogy any way you could... maybe I've said too much.