thinglets: I will not see any summer movie that...

With the myriad of films released each summer, it takes a discerning formula to parse out the titles I will NEVER see from the ones that I might. As such, I offer up a filtering system to reduce your summer wallet suck to a minimum.

I will not see any summer movie that...

  1. Has Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell, or Jack Black.
  2. Has Sara Jessica Parker, Renee Zellweger.
  3. Has people wearing leather armour, chaps, or quivers.
  4. Has the word Fockers, Karate, or MacGruber in it.
  5. Has candy-ass sparkle vampires.
  6. Has the words Nightmare, Elm, and Street.
  7. Is an animated film featuring a green ogre, an over-sized dog, step-dancing or cheerleading.
  8. Has a title beginning with "Legend of the Guardians" or ending with "The Owls of Ga'Hoole".
  9. Has 3D in the title.
  10. Is a sequel, remake, re-imagining, has a "Part" or colon in the title.

Wow... guess I just saved ALL my money this summer.