thinglets: 20 NASCAR Race Names You'll Never Hear

  1. The Vagisil 250
  2. The Preparation H 175
  3. The Thunderbird Wine 99
  4. The Al Gore 900
  5. The Heinz EZ Squirt Purple Ketchup 240
  6. The Dank Blunt 420
  7. The Edible Underwear 69
  8. The Spotted Dick Sponge Pudding 345
  9. The Oprah Book Club 19.95
  10. The Tickle Me Elmo 123
  11. The Texas Roadrunner Meat 555
  12. The Ben Gay 65
  13. The Stud 100 Male Genital Desensitizer 100
  14. The Bavolex Irritable Bowel Syndrome Relief Formula 246
  15. The Shady Maple Farms Organic Maple Syrup Grade B Jug 32
  16. The Navitas Naturals Organic Goji Berries Himalayan Superfruit 007
  17. The Pampers Cruisers 911
  18. The Climax Bursts Anal Lube 202
  19. The Going Native Pumpkin Curry 747
  20. The Kentucky Chapter of NAMBLA <13

thinglets: Some Snarky Observations on Cross-Border Top Ten Book Lists

Some snarky observations upon comparing the Top Ten Book lists between Amazon Canada and Amazon US.

  • Canadian list topped by a box set of books about soul-sucking vampires. US list is topped by a book authored by a soul-sucking vampire.
  • Both countries' readers have a whole lot of faith that Dan Brown has a brilliant storyline left in him.
  • Canada balances out US right wing political theory with Malcolm Gladwell.
  • Canadian list finished by a box set of books about soul-sucking vampires. US list is finished by a book authored by a soul-sucking vampire.
  • Number nine on the Canadian list is a book about "The difficult choices a family must make when a child is diagnosed with a serious disease are explored with pathos and understanding...." Number nine on the US list is about the difficult choices a book buyer must make when an entertainer's demise is exploited by pathos and misunderstanding.
  • If Dan Brown is to get to number one on the US list, he must lengthen the title of his book to The Lost Symbol: How I Lost an eBay Auction for the Holy Grail to Mary Magdalene When That Bitch Bid Sniped Me While I Was Staring at the Proofs for the 25 Ambigrams I'm Gonna Get the Publishers to Fork Out Big Bucks For When They Print This Book. Guaranteed number one.
  • 7 out of 15 unique titles (that aren't box sets) rely on the overused colon for their titles.
  • None of the titles contain the letter "z".
  • Only one book contains a vanity self-reference to the author... actually, to the author's common sense.
  • Only one book name drops an American Revolutionary in the title (strangely enough not on the Canadian list). I wonder if the devout religious followers of the author know he's inspired by a man who said "I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish church, by the Roman church, by the Greek church, by the Turkish church, by the Protestant church, nor by any church that I know of. My own mind is my own church."

Top Ten Books at

  1. Sookie Stackhouse Boxed Set by Charlaine Harris
  2. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer, Annie Barrows
  3. The Book Of Negroes by Lawrence Hill
  4. The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown
  5. Why Your World Is About to Get a Whole Lot Smaller by Jeff Rubin
  6. Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell
  7. Three Cups Of Tea by Greg Mortenson
  8. Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell
  9. My Sister's Keeper: A Novel by Jodi Picoult
  10. The Twilight Saga Collection by Stephenie Meyer

Top Ten Books at

  1. Glenn Beck's Common Sense: The Case Against an Out-of-Control Government, Inspired by Thomas Paine by Glenn Beck
  2. The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown
  3. The Family: The Secret Fundamentalism at the Heart of American Power by Jeff Sharlet
  4. Sookie Stackhouse, Books 1-7 by Charlaine Harris
  5. The Help by Kathryn Stockett
  6. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling
  7. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer, Annie Barrows
  8. The Shack by William P. Young
  9. Unmasked: The Final Years of Michael Jackson by Ian Halperin
  10. Liberty and Tyranny: A Conservative Manifesto by Mark R. Levin

thinglets: 16 lovehatethings Anti-Smoking Slogans

smoking kills

  1. See ya soon, but probably not.
  2. You are what it sounds like when lungs cry.
  3. Nick O'Teen is the cancer leprechaun chasing a pot of tar at the end of the rainbow.
  4. The filter is to protect the cigarette from your breath.
  5. Smoke menthol. Like lacing your shit with mint.
  6. You are Darwin's proof.
  7. You can't spell "tobacco" without your lungs.
  8. You know all those oldtime movie stars that made smoking sexy? All dead.
  9. Worried about your teeth and fingers turning yellow? Your lungs are dreaming of yellow.
  10. Stop kissing ass. Get the butt from your mouth.
  11. Cancer's cool... if you're a zodiac symbol.
  12. If they put cigarette package warnings on milk, would you pour it on your cereal?
  13. Every cigarette shortens your life by ten minutes. Light up. I want your job.
  14. Light up. You're in my dead pool.
  15. How many roads must a man walk down? Don't worry, we've got oxygen masks.
  16. When someone calls them Cancer Sticks, let's not argue over the semantics of them being "sticks". You don't have time to waste. I'd rather spend our remaining time basking in your asphyxiating musk.