"We cower in our shelters with our hands over our ears.
Lloyd-Webber's awful stuff runs for years and years and years.
An earthquake hits the theatre, but the operetta lingers.
Then the piano lid comes down and breaks his fucking fingers - It's a miracle."
Roger Waters - "It's a Miracle" from Amused to Death (1993)
The answer is simple. Print ads used to be weird while trying to normal; this made them surreal and, by default, intriguing. Often not for their content, but instead through sheer disbelief.
Now print ads are trying to be weird... and that's just real. You can't beat disturbing obliviousness... of course, you can just disbelieve all of this and think of this as a fucked up old ads post.
And I couldn't skip this one. Surreal for content alone.
"A team of microbiologists from Hollins University found that 48% of the sodas they tested from fast food soda fountains had coliform bacteria..." - via abcactionnews.com
How does one play the PR on this? Maybe offer a Fecal Lite or Cherry Fecal? How about Dr. Fecal or Soda Plop? Surely the grand experts of advertising spin must be able to pull us out of this smelling like roses.
I've got it! Pay a scientist to say that fecal matter increases sexual potency, then offer it in pill form to the discriminating markets in Japan that pay thousands for dehydrated powdered whale penis.