Calling out Easter for what it's become for me, remembering when I used to read, and a healthy dose of reality/lunacy from Raoul Duke.
Well I don't want no Abba Zaba.
Don't want no Almond Joy.
There ain't nothing better
Suitable for this boy.
Well it's the only thing
That can pick me up
Better than a cup of gold.
See only a chocolate Jesus
Can satisfy my soul.
- Tom Waits
What can I say? After the last lovehate podcast, I felt like I had to redeem myself so people wouldn't think lack of religion meant lack of soul. The master of soul didn't die at 33 in the Holy Land two thousand years ago. He died in a plane crash, at age 26, on December 10th, 1967 - less than a year before I was born. Those of you Intelligent Design folks would have me half convinced if your proof started with Otis Redding.
I have a fascination and a certain begrudging respect for people who have found faith... I lost it. I don't know if I ever had it. I don't really miss it. But if you're gonna celebrate a religious holiday, Zombie Jesus is one worth eating ham and chocolate bunnies for.
While I know the litigious-minded proliferation of the western world with regards to out-of-court settlements with big corporations, the fear-mongering has become absurdly ridiculous when on a carton of eggs that contains pictures of eggs and a rendering of a chicken, the company has to list the allergy advice: CONTAINS EGG.
Have we been absorbed so far as consumers into the Sham-Wow death grip that in the future we will need our peanut butter to warn us of peanuts, our orange juice to warn us of oranges and our cucumbers to carry a label that says "contains cucumber"?
I also like the claim of "free range" eggs. It's good to think these eggs were allowed to graze openly on the lush plains well before they were packed. I know that PETA has been advocating for eggs to have a minimum of two weeks on the range before they are packed and subsequently boiled alive and dipped in dye for Easter festivities.