thinglets: 80 Years of March 1st Number One Lyrics

Okay - I'm not (or wasn't) a fan of Savage Garden. I never liked Janet Jackson. Queen was cool and I dug their stuff. Simon and Garfunkel, as mellow as they were, knew how to craft a song.... Whether I liked the March 1st, number one songs of the last 80 years, and as insipid as some of the lyrical evolution was, things have really taken a turn in the last decade.

I've generally considered number one songs to be an indicator of the lowest common denominator of a culture's understanding and comprehension. That the lowest common denominator of 1970 was probably close to the peak of our culture today is telling. How far have we been dumbed down in 40 years? I thought "Tonight's gonna be a good night" was the most repetitive inane tune I'd have to hear for the next decade, and then the Peas outdid themselves. Bring back Aqua; I'd rather be in a Barbie World.

2010 - Black-Eyed Peas - Imma Be

Rich baby quick quick imma imma imma be 
The shit baby check me out be 
Imma be, imma be 
On top, never stop (be be) 
Imma be, imma be - imma imma imma be 
Imma be, fcukin her 
Imma imma imma be - imma be be be imma imma be 

2000 - Savage Garden - I Knew I Loved You

Maybe it's intuition 
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
and there it goes

1990 - Janet Jackson - Escapade

My mind's tired, I've worked so hard all
Worked so hard all week
I just got paid, we've got it made
Ready to go
I promise you, I'll show you such a good time

1980 - Queen - Crazy Little Thing Called Love

I gotta be cool relax, get hip 
Get on my tracks 
Take a back seat, hitch-hike 
And take a long ride on my motor bike 
Until I'm ready 
Crazy little thing called love 

1970 - Simon and Garfunkel - Bridge Over Troubled Water

Sail on Silver Girl, 
Sail on by 
Your time has come to shine 
All your dreams are on their way 
See how they shine 
If you need a friend 
I'm sailing right behind 
Like a bridge over troubled water 
I will ease your mind 

1960 - Percy Faith - Theme From A Summer Place

There's a summer place
Where it may rain or storm
Yet I'm safe and warm
For within that summer place
Your arms reach out to me
And my heart is free from all care

1950 - Red Foley - Chattanooga Shoe Shine Boy

Have you ever passed the corner of Fourth and Grand
Where a little ball of rhythm has a shoeshine stand?
People gather 'round and they clap their hands,
He's a great big bundle of joy--
He pops a boogie woogie rag,
The Chattanoogie Shoe Shine Boy.

1940 - Glen Miller - In The Mood

First I held him lightly and we started to dance
Then I held him tightly what a dreamy romance
And I said "Hey, baby, it's a quarter to three
There's a mess of moonlight, won't-cha share it with me"
"Well" he answered "Baby, don't-cha know that it's rude
To keep my two lips waitin' when they're in the mood"

1930 - Harry Richman - Puttin' On The Ritz

Have you seen the well-to-do
Up and down Park Avenue
On that famous thoroughfare
With their noses in the air
High hats and arrowed collars
Wide spats and fifteen dollars
Spending every dime
For a wonderful time

thinglets: The Far Out Space Nuts Theme Song

via youtube.com

This show actually existed! Even better, it was a Sid and Marty Krofft production with Bob Denver. I vaguely remember this show as a child, but I love the generic innocence that viewers were willing to give television creators. These days the simplistic premises make me shake my head because they are supposed to be clever. At that time, it was supposed to be stupid and IT WAS! But I've always been a fan of shows that took the time to have a theme song as well. A little bit of retro TV cheese for your Monday.

If you dig the retro TV things, please check out my podcast Best Episode Ever at www.bestepisodeever.com. Hope you dig it!

thinglets: The Five Grooviest Schoolhouse Rock Songs

From the quick pace of Rufus to the infectious chorus of Conjunction Junction. From the kickass funky deep groove of Verb and I Got Six to the slow bluesy jam of Naughty Number Nine. Let the grooviness do the talkin'. If you think I missed one, please share in the comments:

1. Rufus Xavier Sarsapirilla


2. Conjunction Junction

3. Verb

4. I Got Six

5. Naughty Number Nine

thinglets: Five Existential Musical Sesame Street Moments

1. Kermit the Frog - "It's Not Easy Being Green"


Kermit's existence ranged from being a frog, to a news reporter, to an uncle. He lived a pretty well-rounded existence for a frog. That said, in this one defining musical moment from Kermit's first season existence in 1970, he expressed the concerns of a generation embroiled in midst of civil rights and racial struggles.

2. Cookie Monster - "C is for Cookie"

Cookie Monster sums up his entire life in two simple sentences: "C is for cookie. That's good enough for me." You can chase down all the self-help books and 12 step programs you want. You can watch Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, or Dr. Who, but you'll be hard-pressed to come up with a simpler, fresher approach to celebrating the small things in life that are positive.

3. Ernie - "Rubber Duckie"

A tragic tale of a man who, even though he lives among plenty of other muppets, including a suspected relationship with roommate Bert, who privately admits that his only friend is a rubber duck. Though this song often sounds like it's an upbeat number, Ernie exhibits perhaps one of the most tortured souls on Sesame Street. At least Oscar didn't even try to have friends. Ernie was living a hidden life as a depressed toy fetishist enveloped in the forced "happy" structure of Sesame Street.

4. Snuffleupagus - "Snuffy's Cloud Song"

Snuffleupagus cannot overcome his tragic dependency on the infantile Big Bird. Much like Vladimir and Estragon they wander Sesame Street waiting for something to happen that never comes. Snuffy spent 15 years as a figment of Big Bird's imagination only to become realized as a bit player who has to depend on Big Bird for screen time. Sure, maybe if was Kermit or Grover, you'd actually get some good lines and character development to work with, but being opposite Big Bird all the time must feel like Sandra Bullock felt having to act with Keanu Reeves in Speed, or how Jason Patric felt having to act with Sandra Bullock in Speed 2. Would that Snuffy could just fly away, but how can you fly away from a bird?

5. Yip Yips - "Discover Radio"

Sure, I know Snuffy and Ernie were downers, but the Yip Yips had it going on. They found sheer joy and amazement in basic exploration. Sure, you may think they were stupid, but they did manage to get here from another planet. They couldn't have been THAT dumb. They had a unique ability to find something positive, negative, scary and joyous in everything they discovered. The Yip Yips were the total package. They had to be aliens; they were far too cool to be native to Sesame Street.

thinglets: Other Musical Thoughts About A Sesame Street Anniversary

Take a moment to think about the love that people had for Jim Henson and remember some of the characters he brought into the world while enjoying the next couple of video clips. It's been 19 years since Jim Henson died and I remember his characters more affectionately than almost any character from a film or novel. These voices were laced with innocence and inspired fantasies and awestruck countenances.

thinglets: The Perfectly Preposterous Peter Puck

via youtube.com

When Canadian broadcasters had to try to explain hockey to American audiences in the mid-70s, Brain McFarlane, former CBC sportscaster, conceptualized Peter Puck to introduce the basics of the game.

Iconic - yes.

Cool for kids - yes.

Insulting to Canadians who already knew the game - probably.

As insulting as the glowing FOX puck in the 90s - not even close.

Go retro and dig Peter Puck - a great part of my childhood.

lovehate: 10 Memories of a Childhood Candyland

Every kid likes candy. If you didn't like candy, it's because you lost your taste buds in a horrible smelting accident. I remember growing up with candy type that I just can't find anymore, or, if they are around, they don't seem as cool as they used to be. Now I'm not talking chocolate bars here; that's its own special category. I'm talking compressed, molded sugar of various artificial flavors.

Gold Rush Gum

The packaging is what made this gum desirable. If memory serves, the gum was crap. But what kid wouldn't love a cool little candy bag with a drawstring to keep when the were done. P erhaps this same design ploy was attached to Crown Royal as I got older.

Koo Koo

This Neopolitan Choco-Vanilla-Strawberry striped taffy was all the rage for a short time and was visually appealing because for the same price as a package of smaller candy, the surface area alone would draw you in. The taffy was about what you'd expect in a mashed down strip wherein the "flavors" really didn't taste to different from each other. I, in fact, once rolled up the taffy into a ball to prove to a friend there really wasn't a tremendous value in this landing strip confection. Now that was a helluva taffy ball chew to get through.

Bottle Caps

Bottle Caps were absolutely awesome! Here was a candy, shaped like bottle caps, that actually had a lingering taste of the pop they were supposed to represent. I can imagine the marketing wizards sitting around a table coming up with these: "Here's an idea! Let's pack some solid sugar together to taste like liquid sugar!" If parents tell their kids not to drink too much pop, they can enjoy Bottle Caps instead.

Sweet Tarts

Not much deception in the name here. They were sweet. They were tart. They were different colors, but the colors seemed inconsequential. You would inevitably be enjoying the sweet flavor with mild amount of sour along the way until you got down to where you bit the candy. Then it was all over. You could rarely stop from making the "sour" face as the powdered explosion hit your taste buds. Happy times!

Pop Rocks

Still legendary. The source of many a mythological horror story about the kid who put 8 packs of Pop Rocks in his mouth and drank a can of Coke. It was kin d of like the candy version of Bloody Mary. In fact, the myth went so far as to claim it cost the life of Life Cereal spokeskid Mikey: "His head blew up! Hey Mikey!" The taste was meaningless. Pop Rocks were the Mexican Jumping Beans of your mouth. How much cooler could it get?

Popeye Candy Cigarettes

Screw health and political correct candy. If I was too scared to get caught smoking, I certainly wasn't too scared to pretend I was with candy cigarettes. The sad thing is they forced a name change to "candy sticks". Really? Did they honestly that candy sticks shilled by the ugliest sailor on the high seas was going to be a "gateway" snack to a nicotine fix. I mean, it's not like the character had ever been used before to shill something equally distasteful like vegetables or something... wait... never mind. Forget about smoking. The candy itself probably had more damaging substances than the average cigarette. Check out the ingredients on that package: corn starch, sugar, corn syrup, palm oil, gelatine, artificial flavors and colors... REALLY? ARTIFICIAL? Who would've guessed this wouldn't have the all natural tastes of tar and tobacco?

Hubba Bubba

Yeah, Bubblicious was cool as well, but Hubba Bubba had a name that rhymed, and for a single-digit aged kid, that's all it took. The bubble were no-stick as well. In as much as I loved Double Bubble and the enclosed comic strips growing up, Hubba Bubba was that next-gen late 70's breakthrough of square gum that burst on the scene with a bunch of groovy commercials.

Starburst Fruit Chews

Alright, I know that any candy that has fruit in the name should never pass a kid's lips, but that was the ploy of the name. By putting the word "fruit" in it, not only could you tell your parents you ate fruit with lunch, but you could also live under the illusion that your logic in convincing them that the "real" fruit in the flavoring MUST be healthy for you.

"Capsule" Candy

This is more of a category wrap up than an individual candy. The pill-like confections in boxes like Mike and Ike's, Goodies, Good & Plenty, and Hot Tamales were much more of a threat than Popeye cigarettes. These "pills" allowed you to "be like mom" in popping your candy valium or Contact C for the day. Lookie like every "diet pill" that was ever made, in many of the same colors, it's a small wonder these were allowed to live on. Maybe if they called them Betty Boop's Secret Pill Stash Candy, they would've been outlawed.

Life Savers

We had a Life Saver factory in my hometown of Hamilton, Ontario. The Life Saver Christmas Book, containing ten rolls, was the most popular gift during the in-class gift exchange growing up... although 8 year-olds have a hard time getting past Butter Rum. Life Savers crossed over in pop culture in a huge way when the inspirational "Have a Life Saver, maybe it'll make you feel better" was used as one of the greatest punchlines on Happy Days. Wayda go Mr. C!

thinglets: The Panasonic Toot-a-Loop

via farm1.static.flickr.com

Sorry folks, but I've been in a nostalgic mood recently and, whilst browsing around for some of the toys of childhood a few days back, I happened upon this ad. I owned one of these as a kid. I loved this thing. There was a simplicity and elegance of design that would not be out of place today. Sure, a simple radio wouldn't need to be this size any more, but if you think it looks horribly out of place in the 21st century, how different does it look from a plethora of iPod docks at your local Best Buy? I bet you can envision a dock in the middle.