lovehatethings

In a follow-up to the 2700 calorie UK cheeseburger stack of last week, I have found something that has less calories, yet somehow seems more disgusting. When I think of burgers, I don't often think of a "glazed" bun. Apparently US attendees at a Massachusetts fair loved it before they fell over from coronaries in the parking lot on the way out:

"Organisers of the Big E, which finished on Sunday, said visitors bought around 1,000 Craz-E burgers each day of the fair's 17-day run."

With regards to the glaze that I could not imagine enjoying, some of the PR for the glazed "midway heart attack" was sold as follows:

"The glaze smooths over the burger and oozes into a foreign but delicious combination with the crisp of the bacon."

And if you thought that wasn't enough - just in case you wanted your meat fix in lips, hoof, and ass tubes - another treat was on the menu:

"The restaurant also serves a hamdog, a hotdog wrapped in a beef patty and deep-fried."

After all is said and done, perhaps the best fun fact about this Aorta Buster Supreme is that back in Decatur, GA the burger is named the Luther Burger after food fan, the late Luther Vandross.

Here's what makes the “Super Scooby” special:

— 4 quarter-pound beef patties;
— 12 onion rings;
— 8 slices of bacon;
— 8 slices of cheese;
— 6 slices of tomato;
— 2 sesame buns;
— Barbecue sauce;
— Lettuce;
— And a good slathering of mayonnaise.

If you eat it in one sitting, you get a free Diet Coke... maybe the Aspertame will get you if the burger doesn't.

Alright, I know it's from "Woman's Day", but any compilation of crazy-looking burgers gets me interested. Of particular interest is the "1UP Mario Burger" that looks cool, but I would never eat, the "Luther Burger" which uses donut halves for buns and should be nailed to door of a church, and the "Butter Burger" which scared my heart into a new zip code just reading about it.

As much as I think the idea of the hamburger is infinitely cool in conception and design, I wonder if I could comfortably sleep in it. I may have nightmares of the Hamburgler sneaking in to steal me in the middle of the night... and not the softer-featured Hamburgler of the 80s. I'm talkin' the crotchety old sour-faced Hamburgler of the 70s.

I would also think that the morning ritual of organizing pillows, sheets, blankets and duvets may get a bit daunting in a semi-comatose state. Let's face it, if you don't get the design right on a daily basis, you've essentially got a big brown ottoman in the middle of your bedroom.

All-in-all the hamburger bed may be cool looking as a concept piece, but a bit intimidating for a good night's rest. Then again, campers in sleeping bags are spending their nights in a sandwich wrap or soft taco. And I guess you could say that the average person sleeping on snow white sheets should be chilly on their Klondike Bar mattress.