thinglets: BE the topping

As much as I think the idea of the hamburger is infinitely cool in conception and design, I wonder if I could comfortably sleep in it. I may have nightmares of the Hamburgler sneaking in to steal me in the middle of the night... and not the softer-featured Hamburgler of the 80s. I'm talkin' the crotchety old sour-faced Hamburgler of the 70s.

I would also think that the morning ritual of organizing pillows, sheets, blankets and duvets may get a bit daunting in a semi-comatose state. Let's face it, if you don't get the design right on a daily basis, you've essentially got a big brown ottoman in the middle of your bedroom.

All-in-all the hamburger bed may be cool looking as a concept piece, but a bit intimidating for a good night's rest. Then again, campers in sleeping bags are spending their nights in a sandwich wrap or soft taco. And I guess you could say that the average person sleeping on snow white sheets should be chilly on their Klondike Bar mattress.

thinglets: how I lost my sleep in Vegas

I never wanted to be the type of blogger who participated in the "lifecasting" movement, so, suffice to say, I will not be posting my entire itinerary of the last four nights in Las Vegas. I will say this much before I collapse from sleep deprivation for a long winter's nap. If, up on the house, there arises "such a clatter", and that clatter is loud enough to wake me, I'm going to the nearest Phoenix, Arizona, US of A Circle K convenience mart, buy a shotgun and teflon shredders, and go reindeer hunting. And that fat bastard better not be anywhere in sight, because red stands out anywhere. Napoleon thought that wearing it in battle would disguise his wounds. Maybe he could have avoided wounds if he didn't stand out like a bull's-eye on every muddy Euro-battlefield.

I will sum up Las Vegas as follows:

  1. The city should not be that cold, but they should learn that four inches of snow is a dusting, not life-changing.
  2. Low-limit poker is frustrating, but at least the players are fun.
  3. I was Blackjack's bitch... I said Vegas, not San Quentin you filthy-minded holiday readers.
  4. I will start playing more PaiGow.
  5. The full impact of four nights of 17 hours of combined sleep could be summed up by a researcher as follows: "The person deprived of sleep will find it difficult to concentrate. This will affect his performance at work and at household tasks. The person will also experience a lack of energy. He might not have the energy to complete everything he has to do during the day. The sleep-deprived person is likely to be quite irritable. This irritability is likely to damage personal and business relationships."
What do they know? Stupid morons! They can all kiss my ass!

Oh... and Merry Christmas (or Festivus) to all and to all a good night!

Santa Target