lovehate: Things That Happened While The World Watched the MJ Awards Show... sorry... Memorial.

There has rarely been more irony than watching a cast of singers gather on a stage singing "We Are The World" while hundreds of millions of people look on and effectively IGNORE the world which marches on with precious time to care for a dead entertainer.

Below are just some things that happened in the world on the day that the hordes sat transfixed watching what will probably be nominated for a daytime Emmy next year:

"Thousands of angry Han Chinese, many of them armed and seeking vengeance for deaths in rioting two days earlier, surged through the capital of the northwestern region of Xinjiang on Tuesday looking for Uighur targets... "It's your time to suffer," they shouted at some of the five and six-storey apartment blocks lining Xinfu Road, which protesters said saw some of the worst destruction in Sunday's riots that killed 156 people and injured 1,080.

"Ousted Honduran President Manuel Zelaya on Tuesday accepted a U.S.-backed effort by Costa Rican President Oscar Arias to mediate in Honduras and said talks with his rivals would begin on Thursday."

"Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said on Tuesday the disputed presidential election was the world's "freest" vote, while opposition leaders criticized the "security state" imposed after the polls... Human rights activists say 2,000 people, including opposition leaders, academics, journalists and students may still be in detention

"Major economies tried on Tuesday to break the deadlock between rich and poor nations over 2050 goals for cuts in greenhouse gas emissions at a last-minute meeting before an expanded G8 summit in Italy."

"Benin has declared a state of emergency and called for international humanitarian aid after floods hit the south of the West African country. The government estimates that some 2,000 families have already been displaced by flooding caused by heavy rains and it appealed late on Monday for immediate help to prevent the imminent spread of epidemics."

"Along the road to Afgooye, west of Mogadishu, half a million people are living in temporary shelters made from sticks and plastic sheeting and there is very limited access to health care. There is a desperate shortage of food and water, and settlements of internally displaced people are overcrowded, posing a serious risk for epidemics, such as measles or cholera."

"Two bombs exploded in two restive areas in the southern Philippines on Tuesday, killing two people and wounding dozens , officials said, prompting authorities to step up security around state offices in the capital Manila."

lovehate: 7 Things No Less Horrifying than a MJ Memorial Lottery

Some, not-so-far-fetched events considering lotteries for dead celebs are up for grabs:

1) The Karl Malden Memorial Bingo - Considering Malden was a senior (even to seniors), there surely must be some kind of promotion we can incorporate whereby the Bingo card maps out the streets of San Francisco. With a full card Bingo you get to attend a Karl Malden Memorial Around the Bay police chase.

2) The Steve McNair Memorial NFL Fantasy League - In honour of McNair, you can only pick NFL players from Alcorn State or other Division I-AA schools. The winner gets lunch with OJ and the exclusive rights to sell any photos from that lunch to CNN's "Lunch With OJ" coverage which culminates in a 12 hour marathon Larry King interview with Regis Philbin about their memories of working in NY in the 1890s.

3) The Fred Travelena Memorial Scavenger Hunt - The goal is to find someone under 30 who can tell you who Fred Travelena is. The winner moves on to the Rich Little Scavenger Hunt. Rich Little isn't dead, but the goal here is to find someone who thinks he's still alive.

4) The Billy Mays Memorial OxiClean Chili Cook-Off - Trying to determine the tastiest and spiciest chili, not by actually tasting it, but by standing on a soapbox and pitching it. The winner gets a year's supply of OxiClean - but if they win NOW, the prize is doubled for the next 15 minutes.

5) The Farrah Fawcett Memorial Hardball Classic - Every team is named the Angels. When you get to each base, you have to stop, turn, face the camera and flip your hair. To score a run you have to fight Ryan O'Neal. The winner gets dinner with Kate Jackson, the Jaclyn Smith miniseries DVD library, and an autographed copy of Cheryl Ladd's blockbuster, Millennium.

6) The Ed McMahon Memorial... gee... I'm stumped. I can't think of anything lottery or sweepstakes-like concept to associate with McMahon. Oh well.

7) The David Carradine Memorial Kumite - Ralph Macchio hosts an amateur competition of people who have never been trained in karate... wow, I think I just came up with two new hours of programming for FOX - So You Think You Know Karate... anyway, they flail wildly at each other until one remains. The winner gets a trip to Thailand where get to engage in one of the great Thai pastimes, auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thinglets: Ain't No Sunshine - Michael Jackson

In as much as I like Bill Withers far more than I like MJ, this is a great version of Withers' classic track as recorded by a young MJ. The anti-pop sensibilities of my teen years made me ignore most Michael Jackson (as though one could), but there was no denying the talent and dedication to craft for several decades.

Peace out MJ.