I believe the only true definition of art is that which I can make money from.
I believe anything that is new should be tightly restricted until I can find a way to gouge people for it.
I believe anyone who shares content for free is a pinko commie scumbag trying to screw me out of my job.
I believe anyone who makes a mixed CD for a friend is destroying our culture.
I believe anyone who downloads a movie through a Bit Torrent site hates everything good and decent.
I believe anyone who photocopies a book for the purposes of education is teaching our children to be criminals.
I believe anyone who shares one copyrighted song online costs the artist at least $25,000.
I believe that my accusatory tone is enough in summarily booting an entire family from internet access forever.
I believe governments should seize every iPod, iPhone, notebook and USB drive that crosses an international border.
I believe all rights to protections against personal and home search and seizure should be suspended to protect Mickey Mouse, Nickelback and Dan Brown.
I believe Major League Baseball does not hold intellectual property rights over the term "three strikes and you're out!"
I believe that children are our future... and that if I can get them to start paying 99 cents a song at age 5, I've got them hooked.
I believe that if an idea is good for everybody, I should be able to charge for it.
I believe that if I let my guard down, artists will discover they can probably make more money without me than with me.
I believe I have to keep spreading paranoid propaganda to keep artists afraid to cross me.
I believe that every "donation" in a politician's pocket is one more vote in mine.
I believe there will be a time when my views are seen as archaic and damaging to the world.
I believe I'll die before I'm willing to see that happen.
In an effort to promote some of the incredible work by the National Film Board of Canada over the past century, I offer the following parable of Frank the Wrabbit. A touch subversive and wholly satirical, the short examines several themes and does include... yes, you heard it here, rabbit zombies... well, maybe wrabbit zombies. Give yourself a ten minute surreal break and enjoy Frank the Wrabbit.
Instead of going to the Apple Developer's Conference today, I went to the Dairy Food Expo, and, while nowhere near as chic or glamorous, the announcements about Cheese 2.0 and the new models of the iCheddar were something to behold.
I'm sorry - I realize this will probably be posted 1000 times by different people, and it's the height of bad blogging to simply embed a video for its own sake, but it's not often I have to stand up and walk away from the monitor because I'm laughing so hard.
via theonion.com