Continuing on my previous blog post about marketing hair products, I get down to the root of my disgust over the amalgam of such descriptors.
Remind me to shoot the next person who comes up with ideas for shampoo sales. Here's a pitch if you want to win me over. SHAMPOO - GETS HAIR CLEAN. DOESN'T SMELL LIKE SHIT! That's really all I want. Apparently, others disagree, because Amazon is actually selling the following:
[I could only make it through the first 15 pages out of 9000 shampoos before wanting to slit my wrists and pour Jojoba Coconut Keylime Pie Ice Cream Shampoo over them.]
- Kiss My Face Whenever Shampoo for Frequent Use
- Alterna Caviar Seasilk Moisture Shampoo
- Bed Head Self Absorbed Shampoo
- Paul Mitchell Lavender Mint Moisturizing Shampoo & Conditioner
- Aubrey Organics - Honeysuckle Rose Shampoo
- American Crew Refreshing Shampoo, Citrus Mint
- Bumble and Bumble Sunday Shampoo
- Dove Shampoo, Cool Moisture, Cucumber & Green Tea Scent
- Bumble and Bumble Creme de Coco Shampoo
- Kerastase Nutritive Bain Oleo-Relax Smoothing Shampoo for Dry and Rebellious Hair
- Bumble and Bumble Shampoo, Seaweed
- Head & Shoulders Hair Endurance for Men Pyrithione Zinc Dandruff Shampoo plus Conditioner
- Canus Li'l Goat's Milk Body Wash/ Tearless Shampoo
- DHS Tar Shampoo
- Tigi Bed Head Superstar Sulfate-free Shampoo
- Brazilian Blowout Acai Anti-Frizz Shampoo
- JASON Natural Cosmetics Dandruff Relief Shampoo, Rosemary, Neem & Tea Tree
- Fairy Tales Rosemary Repel Shampoo
- Avalon Organics Moisturizing Shampoo, Awapuhi Mango
- Aveda Rosemary Mint Shampoo
- Herbal Escapes Kiwi Lime Squeeze Clarifying Shampoo
- Nature's Gate Organics Shampoo, Chamomile & Lemon Verbena
- DEVA by Deva Concepts: CURL NO POO CONDITIONING CLEANSER
- WEN Sweet Almond Mint Cleansing Conditioner
- Suave Naturals Shampoo, Fresh Mountain Strawberry
- Lily of the Desert Aloe 80 Organics Shampoo, Daily, Aloe, Lemon & Rosemary
- Burt's Bees Super Shiny Grapefruit & Sugar Beet Shampoo
- Burt's Bees Pomegranate & Soy Shampoo
- Klorane Gentle Dry Shampoo with Oat Milk Non-Aerosol Spray
- Tigi Rockaholic Dirty Secret Dry Shampoo
- Rusk Sensories Purify Cucurbita & Tea Tree Oil Deep Cleansing Shampoo
- Klorane Extra Gentle Dry Shampoo with Oat Extract
- Nutrine Garlic Shampoo
- PHYTO Phytoprogenium Intelligent Shampoo
- Psssssst Instant Spray Shampoo
- Tigi Bed Head Brunette Goddess Shampoo
I would have commented on some of the above, but I believe the list speaks for itself. Now I have to go tame my rebellious hair.
"A team of microbiologists from Hollins University found that 48% of the sodas they tested from fast food soda fountains had coliform bacteria..." - via abcactionnews.com
How does one play the PR on this? Maybe offer a Fecal Lite or Cherry Fecal? How about Dr. Fecal or Soda Plop? Surely the grand experts of advertising spin must be able to pull us out of this smelling like roses.
I've got it! Pay a scientist to say that fecal matter increases sexual potency, then offer it in pill form to the discriminating markets in Japan that pay thousands for dehydrated powdered whale penis.
via dyscultured.com
With EMI announcing that they will only be selling CDs to large retailers from now on, and that small stores will have to buy their stock from the “large” retailers (read: Walmart), CDs and independent music stores are hearing the death knell in the not-to-distant-future.
Gone are the days I remember of growing up at the local record store and meeting with friends, music geeks, and other pretentious community members who spent hours debating who the best drummer was. It may have been a bit sad, but it was ours. I’m certainly not expecting the Compact Disc to be around forever, but to screw over the independent retailer and pumping business to a chain like Walmart… I better not hear any more stats about how CD sales are slipping as a defense against P2P; their obviously doing their best to make sure sales fail.
Hey EMI, the Jerkstore called and they're all out of you!
we all had to say goodbye
unlimited supply – e.m.i.
there is no reason why – e.m.i.
i tell you it was all a frame – e.m.i.
they only did it ‘cos of fame – e.m.i.
i do not need the pressure – e.m.i.
i can’t stand those useless fools – e.m.i.
Sex Pistols – E.M.I.
via youtube.com
Here's my Sesame Street search engine analogy:
Bing = 8
Yahoo = 4
Ask = 2
Google = 9
Yeah, I know the metaphor doesn't totally hold up, but it gives a new perspective on the happy-go-lucky Ernie and the creepy pusher trying to make the sale.
One of the features Amazon has built into its recommendation engine is the "Frequently Bought Together" section that, I'm guessing, is supposed to inspire you to think "WOW! If other people are buying that, I should probably by it too!"
In the case of a recent purchase of, however, (and what I'm sure isn't a rare occurrence) there were two pieces of media that I could never imagine going together... ever. You see, the concept of "Frequently Bought Together" would indicate to me, more than once. Now I could buy into the fact that perhaps no one who had purchased that Ben Folds' University A Cappella! CD would necessarily buy the same second item before leaving Amazon. I more than expected the second item in the side-by-side purchase push to be another CD by Ben Folds or similar genre pounding piano rocker. I was shocked to find out that, as evidenced by the "Frequently" recommendation, the most popular accompanying item was the DVD Repulsion by Roman Polanski.
Ben Folds CD is described as "a great mix of pop-sounding arrangements (with beat-boxing and voices substituting as drums) and more traditional a capella singing (with lovely harmonies, etc.)"
Polanski's Repulsion, on the other hand, "shows us, in simple but effective terms, the horrors that lurk inside a troubled psyche. While obviously working on a shoestring budget, Polanski recreates with disturbing impact the strange and unsettling horror of a mind that has begun to turn upon itself. Carol Ledoux is not on a strong emotional footing as the story begins: she's at once compelled by and terrified of her sexual needs, and she displays an unhappy emotional distance from others that suggests a mild form of autism. When Carol is left alone after her sister leaves on vacation, her fragile connection with the rest of the world gives way, and. as she isolates herself in her apartment, Carol's mind fragments into a hallucinatory state, which Polanski manifests on-screen with an apt surrealism. Within the increasingly grim and shadowy confines of the flat, revolting images of rotting food and buzzing flies mingle with things that shouldn't or couldn't actually be there, and Polanski's impressionistic use of odd angles, visual distortion, and blunt, shocking violence make Carol's world seem as frighteningly alien to us as it must be to her."
Now those Ben Folds haters out there might think themselves clever by saying... "I get it. Ben Folds REPULSES me!" But to use film commercial techniques, I believe I can make the case for the tie...
The new Ben Folds CD is "simple but effective". Its "strong emotional footing" will convince detractors as "the rest of the world gives way". A "frighteningly" "apt" selection that will have an "impressionistic" "impact" all over the "world".
We all take logos and design for granted and, quite frankly, I think we should. What I mean is that a logo should be like a referee in a hockey game, you know their doing their best when you don't even notice they're around.
By clicking the link under the picture above you'll be able to see the evolution of some 40 different corporate logos. I find SONY one of the most interesting merely because of their decided lack of major change over the past century. Almost all of the change in the SONY logo revolves around either slight squashing or elongation of the standard font. The great thing is that you know there's probably months of debate going into every proportional change to that font. The intense considerations that often go into the most miniscule tweaks to a logo makes them one of the ultimate forms of craft.
Know your audience and represent your entire brand in a scalable symbol that can be reproduced from one inch wide to a billboard.