The All New FREE lovehatethings 2009 eBook

 
Well, I've spent the past three nights combining, collating, indexing, and editing the new lovehatethings 2009 eBook. There are probably still plenty of errors in there, but I've never been a stickler for details... well, my own details anyway.
 
Here are some stats on two years worth of lovehatethings eBooks:
 
They're available both for free reading and downloading. You can read only at MyeBook.com and you can either read or download a PDF at Scribd.com.
 
As of this post, lovehatethings 2008 eBook has been viewed just under 8000 times at MyeBook and just over 1000 at Scribd.
 
lovehatethings 2008 was 107 pages, 39090 words, 221536 characters.
 
lovehatethings 2009 was 209 pages, 73114 words, 413672 characters. 
 
I never thought before last year's compilation that there would be anywhere near as much content there. I have to say that even though the process of putting the document together took some time, it was essentially busy work. If I could do it, anyone could.
 
Thanks to everyone who's read the lovehatethings blog or listened to the podcast over the last year and a half. I only get more encouraged when I post something one night and by the next night I have 200-300 views. I know it doesn't sound like much, but it helps the creative fire.
 
I would encourage anyone who blogs to consider compiling their thoughts into eBook form. With all of the readers coming out over the next year, this format might explode and drive traffic back to your blog and subscriptions. I hope, and expect, that all new e-readers will support PDF and that one day I'll meet someone at random who has lovehatethings downloaded while on the road.

thinglets: Fecal Fountains of Soda Found

"A team of microbiologists from Hollins University found that 48% of the sodas they tested from fast food soda fountains had coliform bacteria..." - via abcactionnews.com

How does one play the PR on this? Maybe offer a Fecal Lite or Cherry Fecal? How about Dr. Fecal or Soda Plop? Surely the grand experts of advertising spin must be able to pull us out of this smelling like roses.

I've got it! Pay a scientist to say that fecal matter increases sexual potency, then offer it in pill form to the discriminating markets in Japan that pay thousands for dehydrated powdered whale penis.

thinglets: Why My Nostalgia Loves YouTube

In a recent podcast I produce called Best Episode Ever, I fondly recollected one of my favorite Saturday morning television shows while growing up. The Krofft Supershow was the brainchild of Sid and Marty Krofft (also responsible for HR Pufnstuf) and had a groovy band introducing live action shorts for two seasons on ABC.

Until recently I was only luck enough to find some random clips from the show on the web. I hit the motherlode, however, when "dalekenbuck" uploaded an entire episode to YouTube. If you're in a vegative state, and feel like nostalgia is the right medicine, give the entire 40 or so minutes a shot, but, at least, do yourself a favor and listen to the coolest theme song ever by Kaptain Kool and the Kongs... ENJOY!

thinglets: Film-A-Month Faves For 2010 (Part Two)

And so to complete my Film-A-Month Faves for the 2010 year. (Part One Picks here) No doubt they'll differ with yours, which should be all the impetus you need to go out, do some research, and discover why I'm right. The second half source of the film picks is provided by themovieinsider.com.

July

Tons of summer blockbusters and feelgood flicks for one and all in July. There's a Tom Cruise action yarn in Knight & Day, a kooky Steve Carrell comedy in Despicable Me, and a pretty good looking dark sci-fi pic in Inception. Yet even with all the big blockbusters that will probably take home the green, the film I'm waiting for is The Last Airbender.

If you've never seen the anime series entitled Avatar: The Last Airbender, (I know. Get used to it.) then you need to download, borrow, or buy the three seasons of one of the most captivating cartoon story arcs to come out in years. I never thought I'd like the style, but was quickly drawn into the mythos and the characters. I really want this film to work, and am both excited and scared shitless to see M. Night Shyamalan at the helm.

There's also a Predator reboot, a fantasy film with Nick Cage, another Fockers film, and a spy film with Angelina this month. Great time for credit roll theater sliding.

August

August holds what could be a funny comedy concept that will be destroyed by Will Farrell, a voyage of self-discovery by Julia Roberts, and Paul Bettany playing a warrior/priest. And my film pick of the month is probably the most cliche pick for a guy my age: The Expendables.

I've been waiting for a film like this for years. Although they've sprinkled in a few too many still viable stars for my liking, this Stallone vehicle is sure to walk away with the exploding cake this summer (I don't even know what that means). If Arnold wasn't pretending to be a politician. he would've been perfect in this. As it is, Stallone, Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren and Mickey Rourke... that this film even got made without one of them stabbing another is beyond me. Got to see it!

September

Okay. I'll say it first. September 2010 sucks for films. If I wasn't up to my neck in nine months of this list already, I'd just say stay home and get ready for hockey season. But since I've made the commitment, and I'm under the impression things will suck anyway, I'm going to use this opportunity to break a cardinal rule and see an Adam Sandler film. Actually, my hopes are high in that Sandler wrote this film, but does not star in it.

The premise for Born to Be a Star actually looks pretty funny: a young man discovers his parents were porn stars in the 70s and heads to the big city to echo their successes. Although I've given up on Adam Sandler films being much beyond a premise and coin flip these days, this premise could win with head or tail - although it does have the Pauly Shore factor to overcome.

October

I didn't think September's suckage could be topped, but October comes close. With a handful of fluff releases including Jackass 3D and Saw VII (I ain't makin' this shit up), and a film that I probably will eventually see in Red (Bruce Willis and Morgan Freeman), my October pick is (cringe) The Social Network.

It's not that I really care too much about Zuckerberg and the Facebook story, it's just that they had to go and get Aaron Sorkin to write the screenplay and David Fincher to direct it... hell, if Sorkin and Fincher worked on Jackass 3D, I'd go to see it instead. I imagine the story will be heavily embellished and likely disappointing for many, but I do like Jesse Eisenberg as "the other Michael Cera" in most films.

November

Movies in November that scare me because they've got tempting elements, but otherwise repulsive qualities: Megamind (+Brad Pitt, +Tina Fey, -Will Ferrell), Unstoppable (+Chris Pine, +Denzel Washington, -plot), Red Dawn (+nostalgia, -sacrilege). And I'm not going to see the new Harry Potter, but am afraid if I trash it, some Hogwart's geek will cast a virus spell on me. My pick is Due Date... and hear me out on this one.

It has Robert Downey Jr. and Zach Galifianakis in what looks to be a reworking of Planes, Trains and Automobiles. Now I know that this could be a bomb of epic proportions, but to see these two together on screen could be comedy gold.

December

Almost a full year away and the 2010 Film-A-Month Faves picks ends with a tough pick between two nostalgia winners: Tron: Legacy and The Green Hornet. Here's the thing... I'm expecting less out of the The Green Hornet because of the Seth Rogen pick. I hope he does a great job, but we already know that while this might be a fun film, it's not going to be a Dark Knight. Tron has more potential to disappoint me because of the regard I held for the original film during my childhood. I know that I will see both of these films, but if I had to pick one, it would be Tron - not because I know it will be better, but because I think it has the potential to be.

This also means I'll probably be relegating the next chapter of The Chronicles of Narnia to the rental pile, but so be it. If Aslan doesn't like it, he can come and get some.

P.S. December film I will NEVVVVER see... Gulliver's Travels starring Jack Black (shudder).

So that's it. Film-A-Month Faves for 2010. Let me know if you agree or not. And remember, Hollywood films set revenue records in 2009. If you wouldn't pay to see a film in a theater, but some friend has a pirated Russian download on their screen... give it two minutes, or twenty... maybe you'll go and see it in the theater... or not... in which case nobody lost anything because you would never have seen it anyway.

thinglets: James Cameron's Avatar Rips Off Nick Jrs' Wonder Pets

Over the past week I've been subjected to a torrent of children's programming on television. We're not talking after school specials here. I'm talking good ol' repeat a word or phrase 8000 times until we've brainwashed the yard ape fare. And while I can't say the experience was thrilling, it did galvanize into one stirring nugget that I'd like to assert presently:

The Wonder Pets pre-school serial operetta is an obvious inspiration for James Cameron's final cut of Avatar. I'm not saying one has to love Wonder Pets to appreciate this conspiracy (although the premiere episode where they save a baby chimp in outer space is perhaps one of the most surreal television experiences I have ever had). 

And sure, there are always going to be subtle differences, but hear me out Cameronites.

  • Avatar has a core team of three scientists working as an offshoot group in a human military/industrial complex on the moon Pandora in order to study and save the Na'vi natives. Wonder Pets has three pets that live in a schoolhouse and, during off-hours, they assume alter-egos to save baby animals around the world and in outer space.
  • Avatar has the brainy leader (Sigourney Weaver), the bold over-confident warrior (Sam Worthington) who tries to save the Na'vi alone at first, and the caring, but overmatched (Joel Moore). Wonder Pets have the brainy guinea pig leader (Linny), the bold over-confident duckling (Ming Ming) who often tries to save the babies herself,  and the caring, observant turtle (Tuck).
  • The Avatar scientists have to adapt to harsh and unknown alien environments to help the Na'vi survive. Wonder Pets adapt to jungles, tundra, ice floes, oceans, and outer space to help the baby animals survive.
  • Avatar scientists sync into an Na'vi genetic "host" to get the job done; the name for these hosts are Avatars. The alter-ego inspires the title of the film. Wonder Pets transform from school animals to Wonder Pets by jumping into costumes which makes them Wonder Pets - inspiring the title of the show.
  • The Avatars fly around on dragon-like creatures. The Wonder Pets fly around on the Flyboat.
  • Avatar's animation was based on rendering of live actors combined with CG environments. Wonder Pets uses photo-puppetry, allowing animators to use photos of live animals combined with drawn objects.
  • Avatar used an orchestra for a complex musical score. Wonder Pets uses a 10 piece live orchestra for every episode.

Oh, I could go on, but I believe it's painfully obvious that Cameron reached into pre-school programming to construct the final cut of Avatar. Cameron was desperate after years of being unable to come up with a follow-up to Titanic. Sure, the PR spin says he's been working on it for ten years, but that's an obvious fallacy.

I know that many of you have become Avatar devotees of late, and I hate to burst your bubble, but the Wonder Pets achieve in 8 minute blocks, what it takes Cameron almost 3 hours to do in Avatar. If Cameron cannot find a way to tell the tale of the Na'vi in 8 minutes with musical numbers, how am I ever supposed to take him seriously (I mean "seewiusly") again? ...if you watch Wonder Pets, you'll get that joke.

And I know you'd think I was pulling your leg here: "It's that crazy lovehatethings guy on about his pop culture bullshit again!" And if you thought that, you'd be right. But who cares? Like 3 hours of Avatar or 8 minutes of Wonder Pets, sit back and enjoy the ride in 2010.

thinglets: Film-A-Month Faves for 2010 (Part One)

My second annual Film-A-Month Faves starts with this January to June 2010 list. The release dates may change over the course of the year. I'm taking this year's information from www.film-releases.com. While I'm not saying that I won't see other films that come out, the thoughts of the lovehatemind may surprise you as we look into the future.

And if you're keeping score, my fav film of 2009: UP

My tweet review of Sherlock Holmes: "Imagine Basil Rathbone in Snatch and there you go."

My tweet review of Avatar: "Just went to see Avatar IMAX 3D: Good film that would've been great had it not tried to be amazing."

And so, on with 2010...

January

While Legion and Daybreakers kind of look cool for the popcorn munching side of my brain and Youth in Revolt promises more Michael Cera playing Michael Cera, (which, don't get me wrong, I dig most times) I'm going off book and choosing Saint John of Las Vegas. It's got Steve Buscemi, Sarah Silverman, Peter Dinklage, and Emmanuelle Chirqui in it. It's got Las Vegas in the title. Now don't get me wrong; I'm not the kind of guy who's gonna go for the obscure indie film just to score cred, but I really think this one has promise, and the thought of some of these actors getting the chance to play off of one another intrigues the hell out of me.

I'll also admit that this is a bit of a cop out as the film only releases in NY and LA in January and wider in February... I'm hoping they just forgot to put Toronto in the January limited release, so I can see it there.

February

Okay, The Wolfman looks is the popcorn muncher, and Cop Out (formerly A Couple of Dicks) is probably a film I'll make it to eventually out of respect for Kevin Smith and Bruce Willis, (because Tracy Morgan annoys the hell out of me) this month's pick will be Shutter Island. I'm not a DiCaprio devotee, but I'll admit to forming increasing respect for his abilities over the years. While this film also has an awesome supporting cast, including Mark Ruffalo, Ben Kingsley and Max von Sydow, the biggest piece of the puzzle is Scorsese.

On seeing the trailer of this film it looks like your average horror/thriller, but why do I know there's got to be something more? Answering this question is what's going to take me to the multiplex to see this one.

March

Anyone else tired of the Burton/Depp matchup? I know I am. I like Depp in almost anything, but lately Burton's stagnation in his own style has made me disaffected. I mean, more power to him if he can make the films he wants, the way he wants to, but I can't take it anymore. Needless to say Alice in Wonderland won't be my March pick. Neither will Clash of the Titans, because while the camp value of the original picture was enjoyable, to scoop branding for a big budget epic they could have easily rebranded is disgusting. (The original Bubo was Da Bomb Yo!) 

Instead, I'm going with Green Zone. It's got three things: espionage, Matt Damon and Paul Greengrass directing (remind you of a trilogy). While it's not going to have a crazy made-up Depp or freaky CG dragons, [TROGDOR!!!] I do know that I'll probably be walking into the stylistic equivalent of the Bourne films. And while Burton's style has grown tiresome to me, Greengrass' hasn't... yet.

April

While Kickass and The Losers both look fun for pretty much the same reasons. Repo Men is going to win April for me. Jude Law is not always great, but is usually good. It simply comes down to the fact that in addition to Law, Forest Whitaker AND Liev Schreiber are also both in this film. That, combined with the quirky premise means it's something I've got to see. I know that friends will come screaming to me about how I may be missing out on McLovin' in a cape.

SPOILER ALERT: As far as I know, Repo Men, thankfully, does NOT include Emilio Estevez, though a Harry Dean Stanton cameo would've been off the hook.

And by the way, I will never, ever, EVER, EVVVVER! see MacGruber the movie.

May

Iron Man 2. Really. No shit Sherlock. I know it seems like a populist pick. While the cast of Robin Hood looks interesting, and CG of Prince of Persia will remind me of The Mummy Trilogy and probably be swallowed up by Sex in the City 2 on opening weekend, Tony Stark is the man... the Iron Man... wow, wasn't that clever? 

I suppose if I have to go beyond the limits of my suspended disbelief for a weekend I'd rather NOT go to Nottingham, be PERSUADED by Persia, or be CARRIED away.

Apologies for the wordplay. I'll refrain from doing that again and wrap up with...

June

June is going to be a HUGE box office month. First off, the films I will NEVER see: Killers, Marmaduke, The Karate Kid, Grown Ups. Films I will see at some point: The A-Team (though I dread its failure), Get Him to the Greek (could be hilarious), Jonah Hex (cast and curiosity).

My June pick, however, is Toy Story 3. It's been a long time coming, but no one tells a story like Pixar. I don't even need to know what the plot will be about because the characters and reputation are enough. There are not many films that you come out of feeling like you've been on a ride, but Pixar makes such films. I'm an unabashed fanboy... although why do I fear that Mickey might make an appearance?

And a sad final note to Part One of this two night epic post: The third Twilight is slated for June 30th, and I SOOOO wish I could say I'll never watch it, but I saw the first while typing a particularly angry blog post, and I was happy with the result. I may just need the Sparklevamps for inspiration.

Stay tuned tomorrow for Part Two...

thinglets: An Ohbijou New Year

via youtube.com

For years I always accepted New Year's Day by U2 as the generic New Year's anthem for any of us who were teens in the 80s. In the 90s, I tried to replace U2 with Alive by Pearl Jam because, while it had nothing to do with New Year's, it satisfied my "angsty" needs more than U2. Now that a couple of decades have passed, and I'm far less "angsty" I've decided that while I may have the urge to listen to U2 and Pearl Jam at some point in the night, Ohbijou may have become a more accurate soundtrack to NYE festivities.

First, they're Canadian. Second, I just love the layers. Third, it's just such a damn cool video that I will want to watch it after a few beverages on the celebratory night in question. Don't worry U2 and Pearl Jam fans, I have not forsaken you, merely engaged in an evolutionary fork down Chill Avenue.

thinglets: You Were Time Magazine's Grand Cop Out Of The Decade

Now that Time magazine has named a banker the Person of the Year 2009, I thought back to one of the decade's biggest cop outs. In 2006 Time named the Person of the Year YOU. What kind of sophomoric bullshit is that? I'm pretty sure the fall of print journalism that we've seen over the past few years was pushed along by this nugget of idiocy.

Before illustrating how truly pathetic YOU was, let's remember that in the past Time had come up with other gems like:

1960: US Scientists
1969: The Middle Americans
1975: American Women
1982: The Computer (Machine of the Year)
1988: Planet Earth (Planet of the Year) ...really? Not HD114762b?

A legacy of cop outs going back 50 years. But on to the real meat and potatoes of my argument. I don't know how many of you have heard of the band Uriah Heep. They were a hard rock/prog outfit from England who had their glory days in the 1970s. (Named after a Dickens' character for all you trivia buffs.) Anyway, in 1971 the record company released one of the cheesiest album covers of all time, entitled Look At Yourself, which featured a reflective cover so that fans could... well, you get the picture... in fact, you were the picture.

My friends and I laughed as teens when we picked up this cover in delete bins. Fair ball, however, the prog rock lover inside me actually kinda dug the music. The cover remains, to this day, one of the cheesiest concepts of all-time MOSTLY because someone thought it was immensely clever. And so goes Time 2006.

Can you imagine the cadre of geniuses that sat around a table and agonized over this? It's almost as though they had a story in the can about bloggers and the web and decided that it would be too much work to come up with a real person. (I suppose, in retrospect, I never bought the magazine, so I wasn't part of YOU.)

I appreciate that some of you probably thought this was immensely clever on Time's behalf when it happened a scant three years back. I would like to be moderate in my tone while placating your assertion and accepting your belief, but I can't. You're wrong. Time was wrong. And not since the goofball editors chose Earth as Planet of the Year in 1988 was there a bigger "stupid slap" in the face by this paragon of publications.

I know you think I may be making a big thing out of this, but when Time magazine and cheesy album covers are drawn parallel in my brain, it cannot be good news for print media. And in so much as I may be cheesy from time to time on lovehatethings, I always serve it up with a plate of saltines.