lovehate: The Internal Organ Printer... Yes You Read That Right

picture via The Economist

Since we've recently discovered that, using crazy polymer plastics, printer-like devices can actually "print" objects (including the parts to reproduce themselves), I suppose we shouldn't be surprised that they'd make printers that could produce other things. I was kind of hoping for world peace or a cure for cancer. I suppose I was closer to the latter than the former. Now there's a printer that prints body parts and internal organs.

And what brilliant tech-sounding, intimidating name could we use for such a device? Surely the most appropriate moniker would contain a bunch of obscure letters, hyphens, and numbers with a word that justified the device's $200,000 price tag. I would think the best approach would be the "ExoHyperTron 4XGi".

Instead may I present the amazing technical marvel that is the Organovo!?!

In an tepid tribute to the unimaginative mind that created the elusive "Unobtainium" in Avatar, Organovo sounds more like a mastabatory device than a medical marvel. From a recent article in The Economist:

"Dr Atala... is experimenting with inkjet technology. The Organovo machine uses stem cells extracted from adult bone marrow and fat as the precursors. The cells are formed into droplets 100-500 microns in diameter and containing 10,000-30,000 cells each. The droplets retain their shape well and pass easily through the inkjet printing process. A second printing head is used to deposit scaffolding—a sugar-based hydrogel. Some researchers think machines like this may one day be capable of printing tissues and organs directly into the body."

How frustrating is it when your print cartridge runs out in the middle of the an essay that's due that afternoon? Can you imagine a surgeon sending out an attending down to the kiosk in the local mall to wait for your local Warcraft Guild leader to drill a hole and use a syringe to refill the unit with stem cells?

We've heard for years how printer ink is the most expensive substance in the world (how a few milliliters cost between $20 and $70). I would imagine the value might grow a bit if you threw stem cells into the mix. Would your new cartridge have to be CYMK-SC? One way or another, I have a feeling this will be a package option with a new Dell tower in five years... hell, I suppose one could buy the printer, print out a Dell tech and the parts, and have him build the PC for me.

lovehate: ACTA Lobbyist's Creed

I believe all humans except content monetizers are lying, thieving, dirty pirates.

I believe the only true definition of art is that which I can make money from.

I believe anything that is new should be tightly restricted until I can find a way to gouge people for it.

I believe anyone who shares content for free is a pinko commie scumbag trying to screw me out of my job.

I believe anyone who makes a mixed CD for a friend is destroying our culture.

I believe anyone who downloads a movie through a Bit Torrent site hates everything good and decent.

I believe anyone who photocopies a book for the purposes of education is teaching our children to be criminals.

I believe anyone who shares one copyrighted song online costs the artist at least $25,000.

I believe that my accusatory tone is enough in summarily booting an entire family from internet access forever.

I believe governments should seize every iPod, iPhone, notebook and USB drive that crosses an international border.

I believe all rights to protections against personal and home search and seizure should be suspended to protect Mickey Mouse, Nickelback and Dan Brown.

I believe Major League Baseball does not hold intellectual property rights over the term "three strikes and you're out!"

I believe that children are our future... and that if I can get them to start paying 99 cents a song at age 5, I've got them hooked.

I believe that if an idea is good for everybody, I should be able to charge for it.

I believe that if I let my guard down, artists will discover they can probably make more money without me than with me.

I believe I have to keep spreading paranoid propaganda to keep artists afraid to cross me.

I believe that every "donation" in a politician's pocket is one more vote in mine.

I believe there will be a time when my views are seen as archaic and damaging to the world.

I believe I'll die before I'm willing to see that happen.

thinglets: Top Five One-Word Goals For Podcamp Toronto 2010

Listen

I can be a big time talker and dominate conversation in an environment that I'm familiar and comfortable with, but walking into Podcamp Toronto last year, I found myself listening for almost two days. The practice was not borne out of fear, but a genuine appreciation for having interesting things to listen to. It's a unique experience to place yourself in a room of 100 people (with at least a few similar demographics) and hear where the conversations go as opposed to what one might hear on a corner, on a train, or at a coffee shop.

In listening to the conversations, I may not always feel at home, but at least I speak the language - and the language is strangely comforting.

Engage

Having a greater familiarity with some of the members of the community, and having a couple of friends there this year, will probably inspire me to do a whole bunch more talking, which can involve spilling the beans on real life crap that I don't want to spend too much time talking about. Herein lies a key difference between me and many of the people I meet at podcamps. I am a hobbyist and consider all of this stuff fun. I don't have many friends or workmates who share my interests in social media, blogging and podcasting, so when I get to podcamp, being able to discuss such things is like an oasis to me.

So, if you run into me, and I seem hesitant to talk too much about my day job, I'm not being an ass, I'm just trying to escape it for a couple of days.

Document

Much in the same way I record impromptu podcasts while I'm down in Vegas, I'd like to record several brief podcasts over the weekend. My arsenal of tools is actually quite simple; record a Voice Memo on my iPhone, email the m4a file to my Posterous account and voila - instant podcast. Feel free to come back to lovehatethings to hear my audio ramblings from Friday evening until Sunday afternoon.

Somewhere along the way I'll also be meeting fellow DyscultureD podcaster Andrew Currie IRL for the first time, and we'll have to figure out if we can make a live recording of the podcast during the time we're both near a mic.

Share

In as much as there will be much time spent listening to others waxing netiquette, I've decided to thrown my metaphorical hat into the allergorical ring... or something like that. I'm facilitating a session first thing on Saturday morning. I've chosen a title that's sure to scare off many people: "A Brief Discussion on Dante's Inferno". A friend suggested I subtitle it "Not the upcoming video game you literary Morlock", but I refrained.

I hope that in my state of potential hangover-induced haze, there will be much participation or it's going to be a long half hour. With Prezi at the ready and Twitterfall set to go, I'm going to try and Saturday morning entertainment to kickoff people's mornings ala the Hong Kong Phooey and Laff-a-lympics of my youth.

Learn

Isn't learning why every comes to Podcamp? Sure there's socializing and doing lunch and drinks and such, but I always come out of these events with a wealth of knowledge that extends beyond the content delivered. The knowledge of the community itself is invigorating. The energy that evolves as Saturday marches on is intoxicating. And the consideration that everyone gives to everyone else is a prime example of the fact that learning does not have to be top-down, that authority is in the hands of the community, and that what you bring to the campsite better be more than a Kellogg's Snack Pack of mini-boxes of cereal and Kraft Marshmallows.

Podcamp Toronto 2010, drop some knowledge on me!

thinglets: Can't Sleep - Krinkles The Clown'll Eat Me

I used to eat cereal for breakfast every morning and, as many children, built cereal box forts. I read ingredients, stared at prize offers, blankly unfocused my eyes in reveling at corporate mascots. And for all the staring I did at some pretty crazy looking creatures, the Post's Sugar Krinkles Sugar Coated Rice Clown scares the hell out of me even today. (Notice how they got "sugar" in their twice!)

Like the bastard child molestor son of Pagliacci and that creepy rodeo clown that you saw picking through the garbage under the bleachers when you were five, this freak (I'm guessing his name is Krinkles) has eyes that don't only stare through children's souls, but probably also try to catch a glimpse under the table every once in a while.

Is it possible that in the 1950s, a time that people consider the Golden Age of Americana, someone couldn't see this freak for what he really is?

And somehow, it's not as creepy as this...

thinglets: Postcards of Hometown Past

Several years ago I found these postcards among my parents' stuff in the house I grew up in. The postcards easily pre-date my parents, so they were probably passed down through my grandmother. I know that if you've never visited my hometown of Hamilton, Ontario you probably won't much care. I will, however, point out a couple of interesting things about the pics:

1) The Armory stills stands and is home of the Royal Hamilton Light Infantry Heritage Museum.
2) The TH&B Depot was a stop for the defunct Toronto, Hamilton, and Buffalo Railway.
3) Looking at the shot of King Street East, I wouldn't notice the lack of wires but for the existence of the one or two that are there.
4) The public schools of the Hamilton-Wentworth District School Board now stand at 114 (96 Elementary, 18 Secondary).
5) Market Day in Hamilton is subtitled "Garden of Canada". I think that name was forgotten when the mills took over the skyline.

lovehate: Daytime Schadenfreude

Sitting at home on Ontario's Family Day, I gained a new appreciation of the levels of Schadenfreude that have pervaded daytime television. And it's not that I didn't have hours of Olympic coverage of people sitting behind desks to watch, but you start to notice patterns in the On Screen Guide if you stare at it like a Sterogram looking for the sailboat.

The Home Fix Shows - Let's everyone celebrate the fact that people have been ripped off by contractors and have colonies of mold growing in their walls. We can all breathe a sigh of relief that we're not smart enough to find the mold in our houses.

The White Trash Extravaganza - For the Jerry Springer, Steve Wilkos crowd, it doesn't matter what the topic is, these shows make Jeff Foxworthy look like Alec Guinness.

The Youth Empowerment Hour - Tyra splays out a bunch vulnerable young folk who have no idea what they're doing, thus making us feel better by their self-esteem crashes.

The Healing Hour - Oprah and Dr. Phil and their crack psych teams lay out a buffet of all the world's problems that everyone faces on a daily basis to such an exponential level of drama that everyone viewer must feel completely validated in their regular work-a-day problems and empowered enough to go out and by Oprah's Book Club titles about other people who are messed up.

Soap Operas - 'nuff said.

Cable Reality Shows which are often syndicated in marathons all day (let's run the list)

Intervention's extremist cases that make the average viewer think "at least I'm not as bad as that guy". 

B, C, and D-List Celebrities like Hulk Hogan, Gene Simmons, Kathy Griffin and Ozzy Osbourne get to show us how f'ed up their lives are - gee celebrities are people too... and pretty messed up at that.

And without beating a dead horse, how about Jon and Kate Plus 8, Dog The Bounty Hunter, For The Love of Ray J, Real Housewives of Schadenfreude USA, Dr. Drew... whew! I haven't even scratched the surface. But after a Family Day of flipping past many of these Downerfests, I wish I could say I feel better about myself, but then I realize that my life was reduced to watching these losers... which makes me?

thinglets: The True Canadian's Winter Olympic Events

1) The 500 Minute Sit

Involving the ability to park one's ass in an easy chair and consume television and movies, this event does not sound to difficult to most people. Hazards are, however, introduced into the when the only thing to watch on television is coverage of the Figure Skating Compulsory Forms.

2) Freestyle Drinking

Pretty much as it sounds. Whether your choice is beer, whiskey, or a wine spritzer, when the temperature outside drops to "Holy F*ck" levels, you'll be happy to know you're competing with millions of your country's finest at the same time.

3) Alpine Smoking

Since it has become illegal to smoke anywhere with a roof in Canada, people have to make brief sojourns into the frigid temperatures to feed their passion. Judged on quickest time and amount of nicotine and tar ingested, this event is in danger of being dropped in future Winter Olympics as most competitor are dying off.

4) The Four Man Bobmarley

Popularized in BC, this event involves four competitors running into a well-vented bedroom to do bottle tokes while listening to Bob Marley's Legend CD and saying "Dude" a lot.

5) The Biathlon

While not different in name than the actual Olympic event, this combination event harnesses the best competitors in the 500 Minute Sit and Freestyle Drinking.

6) The 50m Shovel

Although not an official Olympic event, many people don't know that Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper holds the unofficial record for his uncanny ability to shovel entire mountains of snow to cover up the shit he creates.

7) Speed Mating

The act of copulation in the time it takes to get upstairs to the bedroom, do the deed, and get back downstairs with a beer all between the end of the 2nd period and beginning of the 3rd period of a Hockey Night in Canada telecast. Known locally in some climes as the Moose Jaw Triathlon or the Rimouski Relay, many of partners of this event's competitors are lobbying Gary Bettman, the CRTC, and the Canadian Government to increase intermission times to 30 minutes.

8) Black Ice Slalom

Many Canadian drivers spend months perfecting their skills in avoiding telephone poles, garbage cans, pedestrians and other vehicles when the roads turn imperceptibly icy. Lobby groups frequently try to ban this event due to the frequent damage to property and occasional injury and loss of life.

9) Foster Skating

While many Canadian parents gave up on any form of skating decades ago, that doesn't prevent them from practicing their Black Ice Slalom skills during this event which involves countless early morning hours sitting on cold wooden benches watching no-so-good hockey all in the name of parenting. Often combined with regional events like Profanity Hurling and the 60 Minute Vicarious Glorification. Foster Skating can be made more tolerable with a coffee and cruller.

10) The 5 Minute Coffee Run

Really an all-season event in Canada, such an event becomes all the more challenging through a set of special winterized skills that involve, shortest transaction while the window is open, digging the correct change out of an unused ashtray, balancing the recycled cardboard 5 coffee stack on the passenger seat, and getting the perfect order while everyone want their f'ed up specialized coffee with a half of this and a double of that. This event can be done in lieu of Speed Mating if a partner is not available, or Alpine Smoking if your addiction is caffeine.